Last night, I made a passing attempt at seducing my husband.
Honestly, I knew it wouldn’t work. He’s still getting over his crazy cold – which means he’s not sleeping well, so after a 9.5 hour workday, a little shopping and driving out to buy more fish stuff, he was exhausted.
So, yes, it didn’t work – which is fine.
I can take a little rejection here and there.
A few minutes later, he paused the show and asked me if it was a day we were ‘supposed to’ because if it was, then we definitely could.
And, I have to say I loved him for being willing – especially since when we first got married, kids were not going to be part of the equation.
But, it also kind of stung.
Even though I know that the average couple takes 6 months to get pregnant, I naively thought that we’d decide and we’d be pregnant soon after. Even after the miscarriage – I figured if we could get pregnant while I was on the pill – what would be so hard about getting pregnant when we were actively trying.
I don’t want sex to be a chore. Something that has to be done. Something that is planned.
Right now, baby making should be all about the fun.
Which would be easy if I didn’t have an obsessive personality and if I could keep myself from tracking days…We haven’t been trying for very long and I’m already being ridiculous…
But, on the other hand, I don’t want to get caught up in the day-to-day craziness of life and miss the window of opportunity for the month.
Uggh.. Guess I can’t have it both ways.