I have a secret…
I’ll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone! And I mean, ANYONE!
I hope I can trust you with this one.
The secret is…
I have baby fever.
I’m serious. I’ve been infected.
I guess it’s normal given the circumstances. We’ve been married for a year-and-a-half, my cousins have (or are having) babies, I see pregnant people everywhere I go… It’s normal. Right?
The problem is – we agreed we were not going to have kids. I agreed to it. I thought it was a great idea at the time. I still do in theory. I have a list of reasons why we shouldn’t have kids. They are, in no particular order:
1. My husband would have a heart attack. And then I’d be a single mom…
2. My parents would have heart attacks. And then my child would grow up not knowing his/her grandparents (on my side at least)
3. I’d be forfeiting my $10,000 — (To explain this one, my dad set up a ‘trust fund’ in which every year I remain childless they put in $1,000 and if at the end of 10 years we haven’t had kids, we get $10,000. If I were to get pregnant before the 10 years are up, we forfeit all the money)
4. I love sleep – and babies and sleep don’t seem to mix
5. I love my sex life just the way it is, thank you very much
6. I can barely lose 10 pounds now… How will I ever manage to lose the baby weight?
7. Morning sickness
8. Labor —- I don’t think I can handle that much pain
9. Stretchmarks — I have enough body issues as it is
10. Babies are expensive.
I was reading this article today that discussed the cost of raising a child. Apparently where I live, an average couple will spend around $200,000 (between $198k-$222k) to raise a child from birth to 18 years old… That’s assuming you kick them out and don’t give them a single penny after they turn 18.
I can’t afford that… We just bought the house and we still have to finish the basement —- There’s no way.
When I finally admitted to my husband that I mayhave changed my stance on having a child, I was shocked. He reacted a lot more calmly than I thought. We decided that we will discuss it once we’ve been married for 5 years. But, in my baby-fever infected state, 5 years is a long time. And, even then, we’re only discussing it…
But, I think I freaked him out a bit, so I’ve stopped bringing up the subject. We used to discuss baby names and our views on child rearing, but now every time we talk about it he gets a deer-in-headlights look that tells me I should definitely change the subject.
But it’s so hard.
I dream of having a little girl… Which means that I’ll definitely have a boy. We both want a girl – not a boy, but you can’t pick what you get.. And I’m sure I’ll love a boy the same as I’d love a girl, once I got used to the idea. My dear husband prefers the idea of none.
I have her name picked out. I imagine what her room will look like…
I wish they had a vaccine for this.