This one is hard for me. I’m so torn. I want to be the good wife that doesn’t complain and whine about her husband, especially to family and friends. So I try not to. But this should be my sanctuary, right? I should have the right to whine and complain here, shouldn’t I? After all, it doesn’t mean I love A any less…
My husband’s younger brother lives with us. It was supposed to be temporary, while the basement was getting done. By temporary, I assumed, three months or so. It’s been six months now of him living with us full-time, plus the two months before that where he lived with us a few days or a week or so at a time. So, basically six months and some, with no real end in sight. Well, there is an end, but whether it’s two more months down the road or six is anybody’s guess.
A isn’t totally clueless about my frustration with the living situation. I haven’t exactly been quiet about it. I was plenty understanding at first – now I’m just annoyed and frustrated. And A says he understands how I feel, but sometimes I don’t really think he does.
He seems to think it’s no big deal, almost normal. Honestly, he’s the only one who thinks so. Even his mother, the most non-opinionated, non-interfering mother-in-law I’ve ever met, thinks it’s bad for our relationship. And she rarely states her opinions, so when she told me that, I knew it was something she felt strongly about.
But, A doesn’t see all that. He sees it as extra income. He sees it as a way to help his brother out a little. I understand that, but I also see it as an intrusion in our personal space. I hate that the first year in our own home, and we had his brother live in our guest room.
I try to get A to see my point of view. But he says that if it were my brother he would be ok with it. I beg to differ, but cannot win that argument without inviting my brother to live with us for the better part of a year – and that’s not going to happen.
I know it’s not easy on A either, but it’s for different reasons. He gets sad and frustrated when I get upset about things his brother does. Sometimes, it makes me feel like I’m the crazy one. But, honestly, I know I’m not. I know he’s defensive of his brother, and I can understand that, after all, I have a younger brother too. And, I know that his brother is the only family he has near him, everyone else being at least 4 hours away…But, there are so many things that drive me crazy – some little, and some huge – like his brother interrupting conversations that have nothing to do with him to insert his opinions…
And A doesn’t seem to understand that it’s not just me who thinks this is crazy. I feel like I’m constantly seething over things and I’m tired of it. I try not to complain too much, because I hate fighting, but I can’t help but get annoyed. I feel bad sometimes, but it’s hard. I used to like my brother-in-law, but the more time that passes, the less I like him – and his cat.
But, I’m done venting for now. I know it will all end soon, and things will get better. I know that it is a financial help and A and I will survive this – but I can’t help cringing every time I lose some more time with my husband – and every time we fight over the same thing. But A is still an amazing, wonderful husband. He still makes me happier than anyone in this world, so I’ll get through this blip on the radar and hopefully this will all be over soon. I just wish he would ‘get’ it.
– Inspired by prompt #3 – “You just don’t get it!” at www.sleepisfortheweak.org.uk