The “In” Crowd

I never was one of the popular girls.  I’m okay with that.  I hate being in the limelight, being the center of attention.  I’m much more happy being on the sidelines, watching but not feeling pressured to participate.  I have always been like that.  And I believe, I always will.

 When we moved back to Canada from Italy, I was 8.  I moved into a school of kids who had been together since the age of 5 – and with the added issue of re-learning the English language and adjusting to the Canadian school system. 

I was way ahead of my class – I already knew the timetables, how to do division, how to read and write in two languages… Being a geek never makes you popular.

I loved to read – I’d spend recesses huddled in the corner of the library, reading book after book… Being a nerd never makes you popular.

I was shy – Speaking to people would make me break out in a cold sweat, I’d be terrified to join in on conversations… Being shy never makes you popular.

Eventually I developed a close circle of friends.  True, there was only 3 or 4 of us.  True, I probably was the odd one out.  But, they were friends.  They were people to hang out with at recess and lunch.  They were people who knew that I was shy and not aloof.  I was happy. 

When high school came around, I was still there – still with the same group of close friends – and better at branching off and meeting new people.  But, I always sat and ate lunch with the same people.  It was what made me happy.  What made the maze of high school easy to bear – and it lasted for about six months. 

Then everything changed.  A new girl I had befriended at the beginning of the year, had started spreading rumors about me.  She had told my friends that I had been talking bad about them behind their backs.  And for some reason, they believed her.  I was ostracized.

The popular girls took note.  They attacked.  I was bullied.  Made fun of.  They started their own rumors – that I was dating the ugliest and geekiest boy in our grade.  They would tell him that I liked him – so he would follow me around – adding credit to their rumors.  I hated it.  I hated going to school.  I would spend lunches sitting in the bathroom stall crying.

I hated the popular girls.  It wasn’t enough that my own friends didn’t believe me – they were ruining my life.

We went to Italy for a few weeks during the school year, and when I came back, things were a little better.  Some of my old friends realized how ridiculous it had been to believe the other girl and came back.  I was more wary.  I trusted very few people.  I couldn’t wait for the year to be over.

The next year, we moved.  I home-schooled for a year, because I couldn’t face the prospect of another set of ‘popular girls’.  Eventually I went back to school – I survived.  But, whenever I saw a group of girls standing close together, followed by their worshipping crowds, I would run in the opposite direction.  I guess the damage had been done.

This post is inspired by prompt no. 1 – ‘The Popular Girls’ – at
Mama Kat’s Losing It.


14 thoughts on “The “In” Crowd

    • Thanks! I can understand that not everyone gets along and can be friends – I just never understood why it’s necessary to be mean to other people. Especially how children can be mean to other people. And compared to some, I had it easy. It’s horrendous.

  1. There were so many different degrees of popular in high school and girls can be so mean. While I never felt tormented really, I never felt popular. My daughter is turning 12 and I can already see some of mean girl behavior surface in middle school towards her and maybe even by her. I just want to save her from all of that and short of home schooling, I’m not sure how.

    • It’s very hard. And I think that 12-15 were the most difficult ages – when the chance to be popular overrides your good sense, and those good manners I’m sure that all parents try to teach. Girls are definitely the meanest.
      Thank you for reading. I can understand your feelings – I wish no child would have to go through any type of bullying, and that no child would ever be a bully.

  2. It’s funny b/c I wore glasses from 3 – 13 (when I got contacts) and they were the the hardest thing to get over. However, being from 12-14 was much tougher. I am/was a huge reader and feel your pain. I am constant fear for my 16 mo old daughter for when she gets to that age, it is a horrible time for a girl. My husband just doesn’t know how hard it will be for her and for me.

    Thanks for visiting me and reading my story I really do appreciate it.

    • Wow! 3 is so young for glasses – I’m sure that was hard to deal. I wore glasses from the age of 8 to 16, when I finally got contacts, and I found that hard to deal with. Even now, I rarely wear my glasses out of the house unless absolutely necessary.

      Hopefully your daughter finds a good group of friends that love her for who she is, and doesn’t have to deal with any bullying. I hope one day bullying will stop being a problem for children everywhere… At least you have the next 11 years to help her be a kind, confident girl.

      Thanks for coming by. :)

    • I sometime wonder if it’s because everyone worships (or is scared to death of them) so they feel entitled to being mean? I don’t know. I’ve never understood why children, especially girls, are so cruel.

  3. It’s the hardest age…I teach 8th grade and I always tell my students that I would never want to go back to that age…it’s so hard. Thanks for sharing…I’m sure it still bothers you sometimes…groups of women and the like.

    • Aw, yea, I never want to be 13 again. I’m still wary when in big group of women – it’s sad that I don’t really trust my own gender… :(

      Thanks for stopping by! :)

  4. That’s really tough! I remember figuring out when I was not welcome with the “popular crowd” after my father died, I didn’t have the money the other kids had and one of the girls came up to me and told me my 2 best friends didn’t want to hang out with me anymore and I needed to find someone else to hang out with. I was devestated and realized in time that I didn’t need them…in high school I was friend with everyone, from popular to the nerds to the druggies and that worked out better for me!

    • It’s kind of liberating to realize that you don’t need those types of friends – but still devastating to go through! Thank you for commenting.

    • Thanks for reading! Yea, it does. And I didn’t have it as bad as most. Still, even 12 years later, it’s still something that bothers me, though obviously not as bad.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s