Missing the friend you were

Remember when Bob and I were forbidden to speak to each other?  You played messenger between us.

Remember when Bob and I broke up?  You supported me, you were on my side – saying I should do what’s best for me, and that you and I would always be friends.  You were there for me, in ways no one was.

When I broke up with Bob, I expected to lose some friends… I knew I would lose his friendship for good… the whole ‘staying-friends-with-exes’ never really works out when one person is against the break up.  I knew I’d lose your brother’s friendship; after all, you always take a best friend’s side.

Don’t you?

I guess we weren’t the friends I thought we were.

Do you know how much I think about you?  I’m sad that you forced me to choose between you and a boy.  You never told me you liked AMP… You never told me you had any feelings for him… You never told me you didn’t like him… You just told me that if AMP and I started dating, you and I could not be friends.

Was it out of a sense of loyalty to Bob, someone who has been a part of your life forever?  Or were you just done with our friendship?

When I think back to the years we were friends, I think of all the wonderful memories, all the adventures we had.  And, I miss the friend you were… The friend who supported me, not the one who gave an ultimatum… I miss the friend you used to be.

This post inspired by Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop

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10 thoughts on “Missing the friend you were

  1. A true friend will always be there no matter what. A true friend will talk to you and work through the issues to keep a good friendship.
    I’m sorry that you lost a close friend, but I’m sure that you’ve made many friendships since then and have many who are close to you.

  2. sorry you had to loss your good friend because of a break up…sometimes friends don’t get it….something like that happened to me once too….but hey, you gotta do what’s best for YOU! :)

  3. the ending of a friendship is so haunting. unlike most relationships, where there is typically a progression towards the end and a clear reason, a friendship seems to end lots of times on reasons that seem insane for how close the friendship was. so sorry for this for you…

    this is my first week at mama kat’s and i’m really glad i stumbled here to read!

  4. Thanks everyone for your comments. It is really sad, and I agree Alisha, it is haunting. I have moved on, but I still feel sad, and a bit nostalgic for the way things used to be. At least I have new, close friends, who are accepting of me the way I am and the choices I make. I’ve learned alot about friendship over the past few years, and how true friends are hard to come by and should be cherished.

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