My little brother got married last week. He’s 22 and his wife is 19. Talking to my sister-in-law just before the wedding, I found myself having to correct some marriage views. The sister-in-law’s brother got married 9 months ago… And his wife was there and she began a discussion on how the first year of marriage is the hardest… I laughed. Being married 9 months, she has no frame of reference. Granted, I have only been married 2 ½ years, but I cannot unequivocally say the first year was the hardest.
It’s my belief that every year of marriage has its ups and downs. Every year there will probably be a new challenge – a sick relative, unemployment, debt, children – something that will test a couple’s relationship. If you believe that getting through the first year means smooth sailing thereafter, you’re in for a shock in the second, third, and so on.
In the first year, if you have not lived or slept together before you were married, I think there is a lot of adjustment. There is learning the little habits, the things that make the other person tick. There is the challenge of keeping the house clean and making dinners. There is the challenge of learning that you can’t spend all your time playing video games when you have a wife. But, I don’t think that it makes it the hardest year.
But, maybe I’m wrong. After all, while I have a bit more of a frame of reference, it’s limited compared to others who have been married longer.
So, what do you think? Was the first year the absolute hardest?