I think I’m driving my husband crazy… Actually, I know I am. Surprisingly, he’s dealing with it very well. Perhaps it’s partly because I warned him that he can’t hold me responsible for being an emotional wreck for the next few weeks, as the baby’s would-have-been due-date nears.
But, still… I think the man deserves an award. He’s put up with my moodiness… hugs me during my random crying spells… has been spending lots of time with me, and hasn’t screamed when I showed him a picture of a puppy for the 100th time and then said no, when he asks if he should go buy it for me.
I just don’t know if I can commit to a puppy. I know that might sound ridiculous, since I want AMP to commit to having a baby – which I know is a much bigger deal, but getting a puppy seems like such an immediate, huge step, and well…I’m not sure our current lifestyle is conducive to it. And, anyways, having a baby and getting a puppy are such totally different things.
But, I still keep looking at ads, and showing them to him, and telling him how much I want this or that puppy, but balking at the price being asked. And then insisting, that no, we shouldn’t spend the money and he shouldn’t go out and get it for me.
The other thing is, with how bad my allergies have been, I want to get tested for dog allergies, before we spend loads of money on a puppy I can’t even be around without sneezing or breaking into hives. My allergist appointment is a few weeks away, so I should have an answer soon.
But, even if I’m not allergic, I don’t know if I should get a puppy. I think (or actually, I know) that this puppy obsession is just a mask – I’m trying to replace the baby – and the puppy won’t be able to do that. Nothing can replace the baby.
So, I’m back to square one, with no idea of what to do….I think I’m driving myself crazy, never mind poor AMP.