It sounds simple – do not be jealous of others, appreciate what you have.
But it’s not.
I do appreciate what I have. I have a wonderful husband who loves me very much who would do almost anything for me. I have a loving (if crazy) family. I have close friends who I can talk to anytime. I have a beautiful house. I have a decent job that pays well. I have 2 absolutely gorgeous nieces who I love to pieces. I have a strong faith in God and a great hope for the future.
So the statement ‘do not be jealous’ or even ‘do not covet’ should be easy, no?
You’d think so.
But, I’ve always struggled with jealousy. It’s the proverbial green-eyed monster sitting on my shoulder, taunting me. And I’m struggling right now.
I’m happy for my friends (both in real life and in the blogging world) that have recently announced their pregnancies and/or births of their beautiful tiny babies, or their intentions to create beautiful tiny babies. Really, I am. But, I’m also jealous.
I’m jealous that I can’t get AMP on board with the idea. I know his points against getting pregnant right now are valid – frustratingly so. But still, I wish it was as simple as me saying, “Let’s have a baby.” And him jumping for joy and saying, “Yes, let’s!”
But, it’s not that simple.
At least, not for me, not for us.
And so I will struggle with my jealousy – burying it under smiles and giggles and repeating my mantra: that jealousy is unbecoming. And remembering that one day I may get what I want, even if the road leading to it wasn’t as simple as I wished.
This post is inspired, in part, by Mama Kat’s Writing Workshop. Click over here to find other entries. :)