When AMP and I first started dating and we talked about all those important issues that couples should talk about – we were both on board with the idea of no kids. I don’t know how I managed to convince myself that I would be okay with having no kids – since I’ve always been drawn to babies and kids – but nevertheless, we agreed on no children.
After we got married, my viewpoint started to change – and I told AMP. He took it remarkably well, but was still reluctant.
I, on the other hand, have developed a steadily worsening obsession – baby fever – wanting a baby beyond any logical reason. It doesn’t matter that we’re in debt, or that we in no way can afford the house and having a baby until we’re out of debt (or at least less in debt than we are now!). I want a baby. And AMP is saying no.
Except, we went from no to let’s talk about it in 5 years. And then, the other day, when we were laying in bed and I tentatively broached the subject again, he said we could start trying in the spring of 2012 – with the hopes of a January baby in 2013.
And, while I am immensely grateful that there is progress – and now a date to look forward to, I still wish it was sooner. But, my dear husband is determined to teach me patience – and well, this gives me a whole year and three months to get my body and health in the best shape possible to handle a pregnancy – to give us more time to try and pay off our debt so I can stay at home with the baby for as long as possible without returning to work, to give us a little more time as a couple to build and strengthen our marriage – and all that sounds like important steps before a baby.
So, I will work on my patience – and focus on our relationship, my health and well-being, and to extracting ourselves from as much debt as possible – and sooner than I think the time will be here – because waiting is so much easier when you have something else to focus on…
And plus, I’m determined to prove that I can be patient! :)