Attempting to teach me patience…

When AMP and I first started dating and we talked about all those important issues that couples should talk about – we were both on board with the idea of no kids.  I don’t know how I managed to convince myself that I would be okay with having no kids – since I’ve always been drawn to babies and kids – but nevertheless, we agreed on no children. 

After we got married, my viewpoint started to change – and I told AMP.  He took it remarkably well, but was still reluctant.

I, on the other hand, have developed a steadily worsening obsession – baby fever – wanting a baby beyond any logical reason.  It doesn’t matter that we’re in debt, or that we in no way can afford the house and having a baby until we’re out of debt (or at least less in debt than we are now!).  I want a baby.  And AMP is saying no.

Except, we went from no to let’s talk about it in 5 years.  And then, the other day, when we were laying in bed and I tentatively broached the subject again, he said we could start trying in the spring of 2012 – with the hopes of a January baby in 2013. 

And, while I am immensely grateful that there is progress – and now a date to look forward to, I still wish it was sooner.  But, my dear husband is determined to teach me patience – and well, this gives me a whole year and three months to get my body and health in the best shape possible to handle a pregnancy – to give us more time to try and pay off our debt so I can stay at home with the baby for as long as possible without returning to work, to give us a little more time as a couple to build and strengthen our marriage – and all that sounds like important steps before a baby. 

So, I will work on my patience – and focus on our relationship, my health and well-being, and to extracting ourselves from as much debt as possible – and sooner than I think the time will be here – because waiting is so much easier when you have something else to focus on…

And plus, I’m determined to prove that I can be patient! :) 

By Doug Savage, at


10 thoughts on “Attempting to teach me patience…

  1. It sounds like you and I are living parallel lives. I too had been asking for a baby or a puppy in the meantime. I was also given a date to start trying (fall of next year)! We had good reasons to wait (very similar to yours) and also were not going to have kids. But that has now changed for both of us. I’m getting to the point where my heart and hormones have taken over. Hopefully I won’t lose my mind waiting for next fall.

    I love the little cartoon! And yes, patience is that part of the fruitage of the spirit that I’m still trying (and will for many years) to cultivate.

    • Aww. Yay, I’m glad you and your husband picked a date for you to look forward to. I tried convincing mine for September 2011 to start trying, but he wasn’t going for it – haha. And, I’m taking what I can get. AMP was willing to get me a puppy – but turns out that I’m moderately-to-severely allergic after my long-awaited allergy test – so that sucks. Are you guys getting a puppy in the meantime? I’m sure you’ll survive the waiting – only 9 months to go! :)

      I’ve spent my entire childhood and so far adulthood trying to cultivate patience – and I’m still working on it. I have a feeling it’s something I’ll always be working on, haha. That cartoon fits me perfectly, so I couldn’t resist using it.

  2. Oh yay! I’m glad you finally got a date! :) And if next year goes by as fast as this year has?? You’ll be preggers in no time. ;o)

    I have felt a little bad because so many of my posts have been baby-centric lately. I’ve thought of you & how hard it is to want a baby but not be able to have one (Yet).

    Now you can start working toward your goal. And also? Make sure to enjoy the baby-free time while you have it. Being able to pick up and do things at will. Sleeping in. Swearing (lol). Going on dates with Amp. Those things? Are a lot harder to come by post baby.

    Congrats on having a date tho! That is so exciting! :)

    • Thanks! Don’t worry about the baby-centered posts – I’m surrounded by babies and pregnancy everywhere I go (except work, where thankfully most of my female coworkers are beyond baby-making age!), so I’m quite used to it. And I’m excited for all my friends (real and blogging) that are planning or going to welcome a new baby to their family… Maybe a little jealous, but still excited lol. So, I’m incredibly happy for you that your husband was on board – and hopefully you get pregnant soon! :)

      But, having a date to look forward to has done wonders for me already. I’m a little more relaxed, and more determined to work towards our goals.

      And, yes, I will enjoy my baby-free days as much as possible :-)

  3. Ooo a date? That’s wonderful!

    (I see so many similarities between us. Although, for me, a baby must wait because of stupid health issues. Not what I wanted but, as you said, I guess I’m learning patience. Not an easy lesson to learn.)

    • I’m pretty excited by having an actual date to look forward – and hoping nothing happens in the meantime to change that time frame.
      I hope your health issues get resolved – I have a few that I need to get under control too, but nothing very serious thankfully. I hope you do not have to wait too long – patience is not an easy lesson and can be quite frustrating too – especially when it’s completely out of your hands. You are always in my thoughts and prayers! I’m so glad I’ve gotten to ‘meet’ you! :)

  4. It’s so great that you guys can get on a similar page, especially since you are coming from no kids! My husband and I had our first baby very quickly after we got married, and I don’t regret it at all. But a huge part of that is that I was in better shape because I had lost weight for our wedding. You are so on track with getting to your healthiest before getting pregnant! That weight piles on quickly and it’s a challenge to take off no matter how great of shape you are in! It’s taken me a year. So good for you!

  5. Pingback: Patience sucks! « The Undomestic Housewife

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