What were your last words to your husband? To your child? To your parents? To your best friend? Think back. Are you comfortable with those being the last words they ever hear from you, that you ever get to say?
Those questions have been running through my head since watching an episode of one of my favorite shows, where after his father’s unexpected death, the character is left obsessing about what his father’s last words to him were.
When my grandfather died a few months ago, our last conversation was between him and me and my cousin, were we pretended to argue about which of the two of us girls were his favorite. He and my cousin agreed to let me think whatever I wanted to think, right in front of my faces. It was light-hearted and teasing, and I’m happy that was our last conversation.
But, if something were to happen to me suddenly, or god-forbid AMP, or my family… Would I be comfortable with the last words I uttered to them being the last words they have imprinted in their memories?
My last words to AMP were, “Thank you, I love you, drive safe.”
To my parents, “Love you. Talk to you tomorrow.”
To my brother, “You know I’m always here for you. Say hi to S.”
To Principessa and Mini-Principessa, “Let me know if you need anything. Love you, see you Thursday.”
I’m comfortable with those being my last words. But, those won’t always be my last words. Each day that I’m blessed to be alive, I will utter more words, more thoughts, each time with the possibility of being my last. Thinking of that may seem morbid, but maybe keeping that in mind will help me to let go of anger, resentment and remember to end my conversations with loving, happy thoughts, so that my last moments with each person will not be tainted with ugliness. It’ll help me to end fights right away, to not go to bed or hang up the phone angry. To always tell the important people in my life how much I love them.
To make my last words ones my loved ones will be happy to remember, not ones they struggle to erase.