It’s forever…

“I will never sign a prenup.”

I’ve been saying that phrase since the age of 10.  My family used to laugh at me, worrying about silly things like that at my age.

But, 15 years later, and with more experience and life behind me, I still feel the same.

I think it has a lot to do with my view of marriage.

I don’t believe in fairy tales.  Or happily-ever-after endings… I think that marriage is tough.  It’s a lot of hard work that requires dedication, love, trust, and effort.  I know the statistics, that one in every two marriages end in divorce.  I know that more people are choosing not to marry because of fear of getting divorced, choosing instead to live together.  I can see why people would feel the need to protect themselves, or their children in the case of a divorce.

But, to me, marriage is forever.

When I said my vows to AMP, I meant them.  Divorce is not an option for us.  In fact, there are only two reasons why I would ever leave AMP – adultery and/or abuse. 

So, why would I sign a prenuptial agreement?

A prenup is something to protect you in the case of a divorce. 

If I were to sign one, I would be acknowledging that divorce is an option in our marriage.  And it’s not. 

We stood before God, and our family and friends, and said we would love each other ‘as long as we both shall live’ – and that’s what I fully intend to do.

 

* This is my opinion for my life… And not a judgment on others.  I believe everyone has the right to make their own choices, and own decisions, and I acknowledge that everyone’s circumstances are different. 

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25 thoughts on “It’s forever…

  1. When my husband proposed to me 23 years ago – before he said “Will you marry me?” He said that he believed divorce was not an option… Next month we will celebrate 22 years of marriage – I have to tell you – it’s been a tough and bumpy ride… but I believe that in the end – we will appreciate those bumps in the road…
    Love to you
    Kelly

  2. I never even considered a prenup, and trust me I had plenty of time! My husband and I were together 10 years before we got married!

    • I agree Danielle… It seems like the world sees marriage as ‘let’s-try-it-out-and-if-it-doesn’t-work-out-we-can-always-get-divorced” instead of a live-long committment.

  3. I tend to agree…except. In the event of a marriage later in life, perhaps a second (due to divorce OR widowhood), a prenup might be smart, especially if you each have your own children and assets, in order to protect their future inheritance in case the unthinkable happens.

    When we got married, neither of us had a darned thing anyway-what would’ve been the point? Heh.

  4. I agree with you on this. Marriage is definitely hard and takes major work so if someone’s going into it acknowledging that it might potentially fail then that’s one step closer to it failing. I heard Will & Jada Smith talking on Oprah about their marriage. They admit it’s hard but they say the same as you, that divorce is just not an option. In some circumstances (abuse etc) it’s the right thing but in most I agree it’s important to work it out.

    • Exactly. It’s something you work at every single day. I don’t think anyone realizes how hard it is until they’ve been married, but my parents were an excellent example for me — Married 26 years, plenty of problems and issues, and still they never once gave up or ever mentioned divorce.

  5. Amen! I feel the same way. It’s like acknowledging that it WILL go wrong and it seems like there’s less commitment to trying to work things out. I feel the same way. We are in it for the long haul. Marriage isn’t always pretty, but if you work hard, it can certainly be worth it!

  6. If Mr L and I ever got married we wouldn’t need a prenup, we have brought everything together already and neither of us owns anything on our own anymore.

    I do agree that if we got married it would be forever, we have been together six years already so we have been through enough as it is. xx

  7. Thanks for replying on my blog! Sounds like we have the same line of thought on this one!
    And…January sucked for me with the eating and workout thing as well. :)

  8. I agree completely, marriage is forever. I remember some of my mother’s friends being concerned about a prenup and i wouldn’t even hear of it because i knew i would never need it. It seems like a pretty bad viewpoint to go into marriage with, and maybe that’s why so many marriages sour, as a result of the attitude.

    Marriage is tough, and a lot of hard work, but I think (this is my own experience, can’t speak for others) that it just keeps getting easier. My husband and I got engaged two weeks after we met, and married 4 months later, so we didn’t have years of knowing each other and we came from *very* different backgrounds. The first year was really tough, but it got so much easier as time went on.

    We both just approach the relationship with the mindset of what can i do for the other person, and i think that’s what builds the relationship and strengthens it.

    • Wow.. that’s fast.. :)
      Marriage is tough – but it does get easier. Every year has its own challenges, but I think that we learn to cope better, and to understand each other better. :) Love your mindset. Thanks for stopping by and commenting.

  9. Agree 100% with you! It is not an option. Marriage is more of a blessing than a challenge. The issues that come up are nothing compared to the happiness and love you experience. I’ve told my husband that if anything ever happens to him and he passes away (I cringe at just thinking about it) I don’t think I’ll be able to remarry. So a prenup never really came up. It’s not like we had much anyway :)

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