Analyze Much?

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AMP says I overanalyze things too much.

He says I put too much weight on what people say… that I ask too many questions… that I’m incapable of taking things at face value.

I agree.  I do waste a lot of time ‘analyzing’ conversations.

Except, in my 15 years plus of dealing with other females, and female friendships, I think I’ve come by that habit honestly.

Women (and men too, sometimes!) don’t often say things without a reason.  Witty barbs are thought of and delivered with the precision of a military drill.

If she says something, she means for you to think about it – to wonder what she really means.  To have you second-guess yourself.  To make you feel bad.

Not all women to every woman of course… But, there are some people, some ‘friends’ that you just know don’t say things ‘just because.’ 

Sunday was going great… The guys barely left the living room… The women, and kids, were in the kitchen chatting.  Kickoff was at 3:30, so I told everyone to come anytime after 2:30 – some people showed up before the game, lots didn’t… Around 5, I got a phone call from two friends who had been invited; they were upset they couldn’t find parking and wanted me to tell them what to do.  Unfortunately parking on our street is a little crazy, especially after 5, so I apologized and offered suggestions, but didn’t know what else to say.  She told me she’d wasted half-an-hour driving around and was going to check one more time, and then leave if she couldn’t find any parking.  She made me feel horrible, about a situation I couldn’t really control.

That was the first thing.

The second thing… I had invited her and her husband.  Her husband didn’t come, so naturally I asked if everything was ok.  She stumbled over some excuse about him being sick, and I just nodded and said that I hoped he felt better soon.  Later, when repeating this conversation to my husband, AMP told me that she actually said to him that her husband didn’t feel like he was actually invited…

AMP says I’m being unreasonable for being upset over that… But, I think that it’s a little ridiculous… First, that she would tell AMP that and not me… and then because everyone was invited the same way…and I fail to see why that was enough for his wife to accept the invitation, and not him.  It really pissed me off.  So, I’ve decided that next year they are definitely not on the invite list.  Every time I’m around this woman, she makes me feel bad about something.  She’s loud, and outspoken and thoughtless… And, well I don’t think I need people like that in my life.

What do you think?  Is AMP right that I’m being a bit unreasonable in being upset over this?

You can tell me the truth.  I promise I won’t cry.


11 thoughts on “Analyze Much?

  1. Ok here’s the thing. You may over analyze. But I’m not qualified to say whether you are or not…you’ve seen how much *i* overthink things. LoL

    It seems to me that this woman’s company is not fulfilling for you. You find her presence draining. My question is this, do you have to be friends with her? Because in my humble and introverted opinion, I barely have time to be a good friend to those people I love dearly…I’m so not wasting my time on people who make me feel like crap.

    If you don’t *have* to see her, then don’t. There’s no rule that says you have to. Its your life.

    Also? I think her behavior is way suspect. And the excuse for her husband? Seems weird to me. And why is she saying stuff to your husband make you look like a rude bitch? If there was confusion about the invitation, why give you a lame excuse and then go off and tell your husband something else? That’s weird to me.

    There’s my long winded $.02. I may analyze a bit myself. Ahem.

    • Lol.. You do have a point.. We know how much you *love* to overthink.. But, then again, I’m just as bad.
      And, really, I do agree… I don’t see her often, and really she’s AMP’s friend from way back in the day… She can be great.. But I find, lately, that I have less patience for people.
      But, thanks.. Thank you for your two cents.. and making me feel less ridiculous. I’m glad I’m not the only one who thought the whole husband thing was strange.

  2. I think AMP is just being male (he’s entitled) and yeah, if I were you I really would try to have as little to do with her as possible. Everything you’re saying about her sounds like someone who’s unpleasant and difficult to have a relationship with. You don’t need that. Nobody needs that.

    • AMP laughed when he read the first part of your comment.
      I completely agree… I barely have enough time to put into the relationships I have with people who I’m closer to..

  3. Nope, you aren’t being sensitive. I agree with you. And sometimes, whether you analyze or not, some relationships are just toxic. You don’t need that. Not when there is a world of people out there, and not all of them will make you feel like that.

  4. I agree with WTH. It’s hard to find time for real friends and family. Don’t waste your time, it seems that she didn’t appreciate the invitation or your friendship (by going to AMP behind your back). Be nice whenever you see her around (kill her with kindness), but don’t lose sleep about something or someone. They are not worth it and the parking was something beyond your control. That being said, I’m the worst to overthink things! Although, now that I’m getting older it’s getting easier to not sweat the small stuff.

  5. I don’t think there is any other way to take that comment. She obviously knew that he would and I understand parking, its almost impossible to park any where close to my house. But if someone was a good friend and really wanted to come, they would park farther away, walk to your house, then say “man, parking is terrible around here!” I don’t think you are over reacting at all.

    • Thanks Raine. And, I agree.. It would have been different if she had come in and said, “Parking sucks around here.” I say that all the time to people, but that’s what most places are like.. especially in our area.

  6. You may be a little sensitive but if this person is making you feel bad about yourself, your relationship with her, etc. than I say, she is not worth your time. Think about the generous people in your life, dedicate yourself to the people who make you feel good about yourself, and stop giving energy to those who don’t deserve it.

    I spent far too much time in my life trying to change someone’s opinion of me or trying to befriend someone who wasn’t interested. If the friendship isn’t working, move on. There are plenty of nice people out there.

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