Before I got married, I had these ideas. I had ideas of what married life would be life. I had ideas of how I would be as a wife. I had ideas of how we would be as a couple.
Before I got married, I thought we would sleep every night cuddled up – like you see on the movies, or on mattress commercials. I thought we’d fall asleep each night spooning, and wake up in each other’s arms.
On our wedding night, I realized that sleeping close to a person is not my thing. I can remain cuddled up to AMP for about ten seconds before I need to shift around or flip my pillow over to the cold side. I drive the poor man crazy. In the 3 years we’ve been married, I’ve only managed to fall asleep cuddled to him and wake up that way twice, both occasions being mid-afternoon naps…
Before I got married, I thought I could handle being a great housewife. That I would have a cleaning schedule that I would stick to, that I would learn to cook fabulous, well planned meals. That I could become a morning person like AMP.
In the first year of marriage, I realized that I suck at domesticity. Although I’m decent at cleaning, I can’t stick to a schedule and am always having to do major clean ups as I’ve left things around me to fall into complete disarray. I realized that cooking is not my area of expertise, at all. I realized that for me being a morning person is impossible. That I need 2 to 3 hours of sleep more a night than AMP – and waking up is never something I’ll do ‘gracefully.’
Before I got married, I thought we’d be the couple who got up together every morning and had breakfast together. I thought we’d be the couple who ate dinner sitting at the table. I thought we’d be the couple who did everything together and exuded love and happiness.
In our three years of marriage, I realized that having breakfast together every morning requires me giving up sleep that I desperately need. So we have breakfast together most weekends, but never during the week. We eat dinner while watching television. And, while we do a lot together, we definitely don’t do everything together.
Before I got married, I thought marriage should be a certain way.
In three years I realized everyone’s marriage is different… and what we have works for us.
Before I got married, I thought I would never love AMP more than I already did.
In three years I’ve realized that I fall a bit more in love with him every day.