Separation-Anxiety

My husband is dying for a new job, and honestly, I don’t blame him.  For the past few months, his job has become more and more stressful and I’m starting to worry about his health.  He comes home after a 10 hours of frustration and is a ball of anxiety and grumpiness for most of the evening.  By the time he’s unwound a bit, it’s time to go to bed.

For that reason, I’m being very supportive of his decision to start searching for a new job.  He’s handed over his resume to a recruitment agency, and I’ve been scouring the ‘wanted’ ads for something hopefully close to home and within his desired price range.

Yesterday, he texts me to tell me he’s got a call from a competing company offering him a job.  Its $40k more a year than he makes now… plus moving expenses.  The catch?  It’s a 14-hour drive from where we currently live – and it’s in the middle of nowhere. 

I don’t think I could do it.  To be 14-hours away from my family?  From my friends?  From my nieces and future nephew?  I’d be in a depressive funk within weeks.

Maybe if it was a temporary contract – say a year.  Maybe even two years I could survive as long as I could fly out and see my family once a month for a week.  But, a permanent job in the middle of nowhere?  I don’t think so.

The offer is so tempting though.  With the sale of our house and having all our expenses paid for us, we would be able to get out of debt instantly and have a nice little savings account.  No debt and money for a down-payment on a home where we live.  Money to travel.  Money to do all the things we want to do in the next year or two before we have children.  It’s so tempting.  But, is it worth my mental sanity?  I’m pretty attached to my family… to the thrice-weekly visits with my parents.  Could I survive being so far away?  I know lots of people do it, but I’m not sure I can.

Sometimes I wish I was more adventurous.  That I was willing to take risks.  That I wasn’t such a coward. 

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5 thoughts on “Separation-Anxiety

  1. My questions…
    How does he feel about it?
    How ‘in the middle of nowhere’ is it?
    How much vacation time would he have?
    How close would that get you to putting yourself in position of meeting your marriage goals?
    How outgoing are you that you would meet new people?

    My answer would be, it depends… BUT, if I was going to do it, now would be the time to do it. It gets harder I think to pick up and move away from family/support system when you have kids. Plus, getting in a car and driving 14 hours without kids isn’t ideal, but it’s still do-able.

    Do you have any blog readers in the area that could give you the lowdown?

    • Those are awesome questions to think about…
      I think even he realizes it’s a little too far… I mean, already from where we are we’re about 4 hours away from his family – which would make it 18 hours. Plus it’s literally in the middle of nowhere. The nearest ‘big-city’ is about 4 hours away. And, that’s not even really a big city. The only bonus is that he’s got family in that city – so there would be some family in a drive-able distance area. No idea about vacation time or work schedule – I’m not sure if he got that info. It would put us closer to goals, but I am sooo shy and have a hard time with new people. I’m just not good at small talk and getting to know others. I just don’t think I’d handle it. :( Maybe if it was only 2 or 3 hours away from where we are now.. max. 5 hours, I think. I don’t know.
      I think your questions were awesome… I’ll have to keep them in mind next job offer he gets – maybe it is something to consider if it would help us get where we wanted..

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