“And we can sell our house and drive down and live in Brazil. I’ll be Ricardo. Your name can be… Miranda…”
I interrupt my husband in the middle of his plan to flee our current life and ask him why his ‘imaginary’ futures never seem to have children in it.
His response was to ask me why mine never involve just the two of us. Why I don’t want it to be just him and me?
I was quite effectively silenced (though I’m not sure that was his intent).
It brought to surface one of my greatest fears – making the wrong decision on whether or not to have a child. Especially because it is mostly my decision – it is something my husband is willing to do because I want it – and not because it’s his lifelong dream to be a father. I love just the two of us, but I want a baby of our own. He loves just the two of us but he says he’ll be happy with expanding our little family, if I’m happy.
But I worry that he’ll resent me for this huge change to our lives.
And, I worry that I’ll be resentful if we don’t make this change.