I’m Dee, the undomestic housewife.
I come from a long-line of Italian women who are domestic geniuses. Let’s take for example my mom – she can cook a mouth-watering delicious meal for 20 people at a moment’s notice and her house always looks spotless. Unfortunately the domestic gene skipped me.
In 2008, at the age of 22 ½, I married my wonderful husband AMP (AMP = Absent-Minded Professor, though he’s really an accountant!). It then became painfully obvious to me that domesticity is definitely not one of my strengths. I found being a housewife more difficult than I imagined, especially since I work part-time and volunteer. I struggle with keeping the house clean and I have anxiety attacks when it comes to cooking.
I started this blog in 2009 after watching Julie & Julia, and I devised a plan to become a domesticated goddess… A very vague plan…As in:
Step 1. Start blog
Step 2. Become domesticated…
I thought I could chronicle attempts to become more domestic when it comes to cooking, cleaning, and everything else. I thought becoming domesticated would be quick and easy – and soon I would be a Cordon Bleu chef and have a house you could eat off the floors… Instead, I spend most of my days running around like a chicken with her head cut off, feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I have a huge family who can be a tad demanding time-wise and not enough hours in the day to get anything done.
Of course, this blog ended up being more than just about domesticity. I’ve always loved writing – it has been always been an outlet, my personal form of therapy. It helps me to un-jumble the thoughts in my head. And this year, I’ve needed it more than ever.
I turned 25 and had a quarter-life crisis, and well, I’m baby-obsessed. I want to get pregnant and start a family – but haven’t gotten AMP on board yet. We have different timelines – I want one now, he wants to wait a few years. Being graciously patient has never been a strong suit of mine – and that probably will come through as you read my posts. I suffered a miscarriage the day after our second anniversary, and even though at the time I didn’t even know for sure that I was even pregnant, it has affected me deeply.
My children right now consist of a dozen or so salt-water fish (and, yes, they all have names). And, as of the summer of 2011, a Siberian Husky, whose name on this blog is ShNo.
And, as of April 2012, we’re trying for a baby… Finally!
Welcome to my world…
The Undomestic Housewife 
LOL-I have 5 kids, been married 21 years adn am don’t think I will ever be a 1950’s type of housewife-am not sure I want to be. Yes there was some good in it, but I think marriage and house and kids are a partnership, not slavery. (though I do often feel like a slave.)
I agree with it being a partnership – and I’m quite fortunate, my husband is always willing to help out and clean and do things around the house – he’s a lot neater and organized than I am.
I want to be a 1950s housewife in the sense that I’m able to accomplish all the things that are necessary for the house to run smoothly and look beautiful (with the help of dear husband), not that I want to slave around the house all day! :)
I have found that over the years my priorities have shifted. I used to spend more time cleaning my house that was a 1/4 of the size I now have than I do cleaning now. I used to be neurotic about windows-now I rarely bother.
Although I do have loads of company most weekends (Jewish and sabbath observant) so my small sabbath meals are for 8 people, can get to 20 a meal (for two meals). So in that aspect I can manage it, but have to say am often tired. Although do enjoy the company when they are over.
I totally have the same dream as you! Unfortunately, my 2 kids undermine my (and my husband’s) every move to keep this place neat and tidy. :)
nice to meet you! visiting from Mama Kat’s!
Nice to visit your world… :)
My mom is an Italian woman herself & I am 38 yrs old & JUST NOW learning to cook… I failed my Italian family! :)
I really like your writing. You may not be good at the whole “keeping the house tidy” thing but you certainly have a way with words.
Thank you for sharing your personal struggle about having a family. One day it will happen for you. That you must believe.
Your world sounds wonderful. Looking forward to reading more!
I’m awesome at housewifing. That’s only just because the four Dudes I live with have such low standards. Good luck on your quest for domesticdom!
Haha! Love this. I also am domestically challenged, but I try hard. Good luck with the baby making. :)
Thanks Mama Kat! :) Maybe one day..
Oh, I’m definitely in the ‘domestically challenged’ group as well. My mom never taught me to cook or clean, so I’ve had to devise my own ways of doing things. I had to create a cleaning schedule (not that I always stick to it, but I try.)
I’ve been fortunate that my husband loves to cook and is fantastic at it. Except now he’s working longer hours and I feel bad expecting him to cook when he gets home.
Long comment…but basically, you are definitely not alone! :-D
Domesticity is sooo over-rated. And when it comes down to it, I don’t want to be remembered for having a clean house.I’m sorry to hear about the loss of your baby, that’s never easy.Be well.
Thank you.
Domesticity can be over-rated.. But, it’s so nice to come home to clean house every day.. I’m torn on this one still.
Oh yes, a clean tidy house would be wonderful. It’s just rarely high on my priority list.