And…

I’m pregnant!

I was thinking of finding some super cute way of announcing it – but honestly, I’m so exhausted and nauseous that it took me this long to even get to those two words.

I’ve announced it to most of my family, and a few close friends, and the rest of the world is subject to just speculating until I get to 12 weeks (only 4 weeks away!!)

Baby due November 2013. :)

(I’ll be back soon to bore you with details)

Relief

It came!

And I was actually relieved.  I knew that I wasn’t ready to get pregnant… As much as I think I want a child, it’s not something I want right now.  This was clearly evidenced by my relief at getting my period, not disappointment.  The thought of getting pregnant right now puts me into panic mode.  We have too much debt… The basement still needs to be finished… A still needs to finish school… It’s just not the right time. 

As much as I wish it would just happen so I don’t have to make the conscious decision to get pregnant, I still want the circumstances to be right.  I want it to be when we’re ready for it.  When it’s feasible for me to take 5 years off work to stay at home with our child.  When we’re not in debt.  When I’m healthier and in better shape.  When A and I have had more time together, more time to travel, more time of just us.

Maybe my goal should be to see if we can be in that place by March 1, 2013.  That’s when we’ll have been married 5 years.  I worry that 27 & 34 is too old to have a child.. But having parents that are settled and ready is probably better for a child than a parent who can pass for their sibling. 

Will I ever be able to figure this one out?

the undomestic housewife

Panic Mode?

I decided I wouldn’t panic till January 1st.

Then, I decided I wouldn’t panic till December 26th.

Right now, I’ve already entered panic mode.

My period is late.  9 days late to be exact.  Which means that it’s been 36 days since my last period, which may mean absolutely nothing since the mini-pill is known to cause irregular periods.  Apparently I’m not to worry till I’m 45 days or more late.  That would be December 26th. 

Clearly, I’m worrying now.

I can’t be pregnant!  It’s not something my body, my brain, or my husband would be able to handle right now, if ever (at least in regards to the husband!).  If I am pregnant, I would be 4 weeks along apparently and due sometime mid-August.  An August baby, just like me.  Crap!  I can’t deal with this.

I’ve been feeling period symptoms, so I should be okay.. I’ve been feeling them since the 10th… mostly just cramping.  Every time I go to the bathroom I expect to have my period, but so far, nothing.  I usually hate getting my period, but right this moment, I would give anything for it.

I can’t be pregnant!  I can’t!  There’s no way!

I’ll keep telling myself that.. I’ll probably not get it until the 25th or 26th exactly, just because now I’m stressing about it.

When I first started writing this on Tuesday, I told myself not to panic… Then Tuesday night I got pretty bad cramps, and I thought, “See, I knew it would be fine.”  Now, another day and a bit has passed, and while I’m still hoping it will come anytime now, I’m debating buying a test to reassure myself…

the undomestic housewife