I’m pregnant!
I was thinking of finding some super cute way of announcing it – but honestly, I’m so exhausted and nauseous that it took me this long to even get to those two words.
I’ve announced it to most of my family, and a few close friends, and the rest of the world is subject to just speculating until I get to 12 weeks (only 4 weeks away!!)
Baby due November 2013. :)
(I’ll be back soon to bore you with details)
Last month was the first month we threw the Shettles method out the window. I feel like I gave it a fair try – 5 or 6 months. With no success. I gave AMP fair warning, that if we weren’t pregnant by December, then I was done with the Shettles method, and we’d go to good ol’ fashioned way of getting pregnant – not worrying about boy or girl. I think it’s easier for me than AMP. While I would love to have a girl, eventually, I’m thrilled with the idea of having a little boy. After my sister had her little boy, my anxieties about having a boy melted away. And, frankly, in comparison to my niece, my nephew is EASY.
And, I figure, we’re planning on having more than one anyways, so who cares if the first is a boy and not a girl (other than AMP – he obviously cares just a little).
January was our first month of ‘back to basics’ – and no success. And I took it surprisingly well.
This month we’re trying to not miss any ‘important’ days – so we’ll see how it goes. I would really like to be pregnant this month.. It would be an amazing anniversary present…
But, of course, it’s out of my control. All I can do is hope and pray…
If you’ve been hanging out here a while, you know that I tend to obsess and worry about things long before it’s necessary for me to do so. Which leads me to spending a lot of wasted time thinking up hypothetical scenarios that often don’t ever end up happening.
But, it’s what I do.
Which is why, even though I’m not yet pregnant, I’m already worrying and trying to decide on when I’m going to spill the beans.
Doesn’t help that AMP and I have different views on the matter.
I want to share the news with my immediate family and closest friends right away. These are the people who know about my miscarriage – and the people I would tell if I miscarried again.
I know that if I miscarry again – this time it’ll devastate me. It hurt so much the first time and I didn’t even really realize I was pregnant – imagine this time, when we’ve been trying and waiting. I’ll make it through – but it’ll be oh so hard.
But, should I let that fear keep me from sharing my news?
Also, I don’t want to be ‘found out’ and miss out on surprising people my way. I have all these plans in my head on how to tell my parents and my siblings – and I don’t want it ruined by them guessing before I tell them.
With other people – I think I’d try to wait to as close to 12 weeks – mostly for AMP’s sake… Because I know he’d rather we wait. But, I think after waiting so long to try and then trying for 6+ months, that it’ll be hard for me to keep it to myself.
I know it’s silly – but I think about these things.. and maybe obsess about it.
When did you share your news with family and friends? How did you do it?
I threw myself my own personal private pity party on Sunday.. When my period decided to let me in on the news that I’m indeed not pregnant this month.
The pity party involved chocolate and burgers and kleenex and books and forcing my dog to cuddle with me while I cried…
Sunday was a great day.
AMP was understanding – in the way that he is… The ‘you shouldn’t feel sad because we’ll try next month and it’s no big deal’ until I shot him a death look and he revised his statement to ‘I’m sorry – you’re right to be sad – what kind of burgers and chocolate do you want?’
And, then this morning, I signed into my personal Facebook account and at the top of the screen one of my Facebook friends announced her surprise pregnancy – and how they weren`t even trying and they are due in June.. and blah blah blah..
The thing is, I`m completely aware of how ridiculous I`m being. We haven`t been trying that long… It`ll happen.. I know all that.. But I`m done waiting for this. I want it to happen now.
And the stupid pity party totally set me back on my eating right and losing weight progress.. So that made me even more mad..
I`ll come back when I`m in a better mood..
Only two months left in 2012… And, things aren’t quite as I pictured them.
I really thought I’d be halfway through a pregnancy by this time. And that we’d have more debt paid off. And, that we would have made progress in moving.
But, we’re not.
And, really that’s ok.
As much as I would have loved to be pregnant already – the more we wait, the more time we have to enjoy just the two of us. We got to enjoy our New York trip with no pregnancy related issues. And, I get to soak up lots and lots of 9+ hrs of sleep a night.
The debt will come. Slowly, but it will. And, the same with the house. No sense wasting time and energy worrying about all that stuff.
Just enjoy one day at a time.
Fear & Anticipation (Photo credit: hartlandmartin)
Terrified is not even big enough to describe how I feel…
This was our first official month of trying – and odds are its a no go.. With visiting relatives and sleeping on a squeaky mattress during the ‘it’ week, we definitely didn’t come close to the right days. But, that’s ok.. Right?
I’m torn between being completely impatient one second, and the other minute willing to wait as long as it takes.
I used to able to picture myself pregnant.. with a baby.. with a toddler.
Now, I can’t. I’m too scared.. scared of not getting pregnant.. and scared of getting pregnant.. Scared of another miscarriage. Scared of how life will change.
They say a certain amount of fear is healthy… right?
First time link-up with Pour Your Heart Out at Shell’s place. Click over to read more from some other amazing bloggers.
A pregnant woman (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Rule no. 1386 – When you want something very badly that you can’t have yet, everyone around you will have it.
There are very few people who know about my baby plans.
One of these is my best friend since we were 8, Elia.
Elia and I went shopping on Monday, down to the outlet malls, where we saw, not one, not two, not five, but twenty-six different pregnant women walking around shopping.
Twenty-six!
Thanks for the reminder universe.
But, wait… That’s not people I know. Can’t just leave it at that.
Two more pregnancy annoucements.
One from my aunt whose doctor told her she couldn’t have kids, and she’s been married a whole two minutes and is now pregnant.
My turn to start trying is only 70 days away (YAY!), but I would kind of appreciate it if the universe stopped throwing pregnant people in my path in the meantime. It’s hard enough being ‘patient’ without baby bumps mocking me at every turn.
p.s. I’m thrilled for my aunt, and all my friends. And, I’m enjoying my pregnancy-free, baby-free time… But, just thought I’d make a comment on how annoying Murphy can be, haha.
Wal calendar (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
TTC and AF and TWW and BFN and BFP — all acronyms I vaguely knew, but now am fluent in.
I’ve joined a Trying to Conceive (TTC) forum.. thought maybe it would distract me.
Turns out I was wrong.
It’s already hard not to ‘symptom spot’ and obsess whether a random wave of nausea is a pregnancy symptom or just a touch of flu. Or if my breasts are actually sore, or just a result of me poking them constantly.
But, it does help to read other people’s stories. To know not everyone gets pregnant right away. That many people go through months of trying without a positive test.
And, to know what are actually pregnancy symptoms from real people and not just Google.
Two more days till my period is supposed to show up, and I finally get to know if this month is the month, or we’re waiting till fall.
This waiting is harder than I thought.
The Undomestic Housewife 